Nothing Compares

Julia is in the hospital. The last time I visited Nikky, Olga told me that an ambulance had come for Julia at 4 AM. Olga didn't know exactly why.

I visited Julia on Friday. I wasn't sure of her last name, but patient services helped me figure it out, and Samy and I went up to see her. Julia looked very small in her bed. She has a private room. "It's lonely, she said. "Private rooms aren't all they are cracked up to be. But my grandson wants me to have the best." She looked like she had lost weight. "Well, who wouldn't shrink away to nothing with what I'm getting here," she said, gesturing to her dinner which was still on the tray over her bed. "All liquids." Her diagnosis is gastrointestinal distress, "which means they really don't know what on earth is wrong with me."

Julia was so happy that we visited. Samy drew her some pictures, and Julia told me how moved she was by all of the concern the other residents at Walpan had expressed about her. "When Michael went there yesterday to get some of my things, he said everyone asked about me and sent their good wishes. Imagine that. It's so nice to know that people are thinking about me."

Michael came up from the cafeteria, and was surprised to see me there. I wonder if he thinks it's strange that I would take such an interest in Nikky and Julia. I guess it is out of the ordinary, but I really do feel so privileged to know these remarkable people.

I would have liked to visit Julia on Saturday or Sunday, but I've had a sinus infection and have been completely immobilized by it. Every movement seems like an effort, and is completely exhausting. My head feels like it weighs 100 pounds. I feel so unlike myself - lethargic, sore and tired. All I've wanted to do is rest. I wonder if this is how some of the residents at Walpan feel -- spent by the slightest exertion. I am grateful to know that I won't feel like this tomorrow (or maybe the next day). It would be a completely different experience not to have the expectation that I will feel better in a day or two. I guess nothing really compares.