Richard

Richard sits at Nikky's table. He is a 72 year old gentleman -- truly. He holds Nikky's chair out for her and helps her get in and out of it. "Do you know this man," Nikky asks me? "Yes, he's a kind, gentle man," I reply. Richard has been living at Walpan for 2 years. His beloved wife, Marilyn, died four years ago, and he still mourns her deeply. "She was my best friend, my only friend," he tells me over and over. "We did everything together. I don't know why she had to go so young." Over the visits, I learn that Marilyn died suddenly of a heart attack, while preparing to take a shower. She was Richard's third wife -- he outlived them all. Marilyn and Richard were inseparable. They loved to take long walks, see friends, and go to Atlantic City.

Richard is very lonely. He is bent over as though his heart is heavy, and his eyes naturally look to the floor. He takes anti-seizure medication and has had many seizures and two heart attacks. Because of the seizures and medication, he can't read, doesn't remember well, and cries a lot. The second time I visited Walpan, he told me: "Life is hard. I don't have anyone. No-one visits me. My brother had a stroke and lives in a nursing center. He can't talk. I don't have anyone. It's very lonely." I told Richard that whenever I visit Nikky, I'm visiting him too.

Richard is very helpful at Walpan. He helps set up and clear the dining room. He runs errands for the residents. He is very mobil and loves to walk, taking long walks each day to Watchung Plaza and Pathmark. He is always looking for ways to be useful. And he is always well groomed, with his white hair combed back, clean shaven, and is partial to polo necked sweaters. He is a very good eater -- always finishing everything he is served. I've come to learn that he has a sweet tooth and is particularly partial to lemon tarts or lemon pound cake. So every time I come, I bring him a pastry and am rewarded with a bashful and very rare smile.