Blah Blah Blah

Ruth and Grace have told me from time to time about Nikky's "episodes." They've described how she sometimes comes into the dining room and starts yelling at everyone and telling them to get out. The Nikky I know is sweet and loving, so I hadn't been able to imagine this at all.

The other day, I had a glimpse of "bizarro Nikky." When I knocked on the door to her room, she didn't answer, and yet I could hear her talking. I thought she was talking to the television, because she was saying things like "Shut up; you loud ape. You're making me deaf." I went in. She turned to me. No recognition. "Blah, blah, blah..." she yelled at me, "that's all you ever say ... blah blah blah...I can't hear you!" She put her hands over her ears. "Blah blah blah... you creep. I can't hear a word you say. I'm not listening." She close her eyes tight, hands over her ears, like a child.

I took her shoulders. "Nikky, it's me, Jessie... your paysan... your friend." She tried to shake me off, but then her body softened. She took her hands off her ears and opened her eyes. "Oh, hello," she said, smiling sweetly. "Are you o.k.," I asked? "Oh yes... and how are you?" she asked. "Fine," I said. Bizarro Nikky was gone. "I love you so much. You're so good to me," she said. "They come as good as you ... but no better. God bless you, God bless you." And we walked out into our visit.