Julia

Julia is new to Walpan; she just moved in on April 30. Before she arrived, her grandson arranged to have her room painted a light, carnation pink and moved all of her furniture in from her prior residence so Walpan would feel like home. Her furniture is upholstered in florals and chintz, with lace doilies on the arms of her chairs and sofas. It is pretty and inviting.

Julia has bright blue eyes, white hair, and pale, peach skin. She has slight tremors, and walks with the aid of a walker. She takes time each day to put herself together, and always does at least 3 crossword puzzles before lunch. She worked her whole life, first running a company shipping oil rig parts to Brazil, and then she and her husband owned and operated an art gallery. She is sharp and well-informed about the world, and interested in getting to know everyone around her.

On Tuesday, she wasn't feeling well and had lunch in her room. I kept her company for a while, and we worked on one of the crossword puzzles together. "Look at my hands," she said, extending them towards me. They are stiff and bent; the skin translucent; the veins providing an arterial roadmap. "Sometimes I get so angry at how they look, and I can't put on my jewelry, because the jewelry is so beautiful and my hands are so ugly. But that's just how it is, isn't it. Why should my jewelry suffer just because I'm getting old. After all, the alternative isn't so attractive!"

We talked about having memories and whether forgetting is a good or bad thing. I told her I had been thinking about my grandmother, Elsie. She remembered everything. But the comparison between her memories of what her life was like then, and the quality of it at the end, made her so angry and irritable that some people did not even want to visit her. On the other hand, Nikky, for example, has so few memories, and yet is completely content with who she is and where she is. Is it better to loose your memories? Is aging with Alzheimer's preferable to aging with your mental faculties intact? I suppose the answer lies in the ability to accept the present moment as the only moment, and not to compare it to the moments that went before. What causes some people to accept their current situation with grace, and others to rage against it? Julia is as old as Elsie was, and as limited in her movements and abilities. But she accepts her current "curriculum," as part of the big, beautiful whole of her life. She does not give it any more or less importance than what went before and what is to come. She is an inspiring role model.